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If you’re looking for a little guidance when it comes to love, you’ve come to the right place.

The Cheat Sheet spoke with eight top relationship experts to get some of their best advice. The best relationship advice I’ve ever gotten, and that I give, is “easy does it.” Too often we get caught up in fear-based needs to control our partner.

My parents advised what they did in their own marriage: “both of you always think about giving 90% to your partner and you both will be very happy.” They meant it’s so important to think about how your partner is feeling, to stand in their shoes, to be giving and compromising, and emotionally generous.

That 10% is for the understanding that sometimes it’s also OK to be a bit selfish, to place your needs first, or stand firm on something.

When I was single and stressed about finding love, my good friend, Scott, a confirmed bachelor, told me this. I knew he was The One when he told me, “I’ve always been too nice for the naughty girls and too naughty for the nice ones.” That had been my experience with men.

And my overall happiness continues to grow, too, regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or not. I went on dates, had fun, didn’t give my heart away foolishly, and met my husband.This advice transformed every relationship in my life – not just the romantic ones.Before I knew these things, I was unintentionally holding my partner responsible for my happiness.But you can ask yourself why you accept it and how you can put a boundary on yourself so that you won’t accept it again.It made me take more responsibility for my role in bad relationships.

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