Dating a woman with emotion baggage
With time and practice, you should become more aware of these cues the moment they occur and this provides an opportunity to respond differently.
One piece of advice I have found useful is to use an IF-THEN plan.
Once you are aware of your transference patterns and recognise triggering cues, make a plan that highlights these signals (the IF) and link it to a new way of behaving (the THEN).
For example, “IF a new person is as unaffectionate as an ex was, THEN I will avoid this person”.
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more It may seem that new relationships are entirely fuelled by dreams and hopes for a perfect future.
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Beyond this, viewing yourself as worthy, accepted and decent is vital for forming and maintaining healthy relationships.But you do not need to experience a breakup to begin forming healthier relationships.While there are no quick fixes, developing a clearer picture of your working models and how these might be affecting your relationships is a good starting point.Working models of relationships may also explain why some people recreate aspects of past relationships with new partners.For example, if I did not receive much affection from an ex, I might still form new relationships that recreate those same patterns.